SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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