Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize