he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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