so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize