plz talk dirty to me
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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