it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i came on her dog
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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