So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
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