i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You can't motorboat a personality
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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