Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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