3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize