My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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