I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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