I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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