I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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