Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize