you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize