there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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