you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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