I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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