I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize