can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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