She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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