did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize