I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize