First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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