I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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