More tranny stories later!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
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If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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