I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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