If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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