i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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