i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
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Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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