i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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