Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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