it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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