I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize