I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize