it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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