I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
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WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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