I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
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I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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