I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize