I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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