dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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