Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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