she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize