I feel like abortions should bother me more
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So vagazzling was a success
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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