Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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