I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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