I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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