pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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