You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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