She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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